Chapter 34 Part 5: Lessons on Becoming
13 days post-op and full of gratitude!
Wow. Wow. Wow. All I can say is WOW. I am 13 days after the surgery to repair my spine and it has been a lifetime of learning. Everything about the surgery was literally perfect and my new body is adjusting so well. I grew half an inch! There are so many layers and lessons that I want to share from this experience. May you use this wisdom in your own life. I find it a bit difficult to put all of this into form so I am going to call this Part One and know that more will unfold and settle into me in due time.
Lesson #1. Trust. Your. Intuition.
When I found Dr. Khurana, after years of trying things and numerous doctors, I had a knowing in my being that he was the right person. I had so many voices of well-intentioned people around me that made me doubt my knowing. I ran in mental circles and got three extra opinions and gaslit myself about whether this was the right choice. At the end of the day, I knew deep inside that this was right and I went through the process with ease and confidence. I wish I would have thanked folks who wanted to offer advice but let them know I do not need additional opinions. Let this be a lesson for you. When you KNOW something - trust it. Trust YOU, even if it doesn’t make sense to others.
Lesson #2. The Journey Begins in the Heart.
My recovery began weeks before the surgery. It began with a change of heart and mind. It began when I decided I did not want to live with pain every day. It began in the moments when I began to replace my thought patterns with ideas that helped create space for change. When you are faced with big change, take heart in knowing that you are already on the path by deciding in your heart. I created several helpful mantras and committed to changing my thought pattern with repetition, meditation and pleasure practice. I hope this gives you space and peace knowing that you are already on the right track. Trust the timing, trust the unfolding.
Lesson #3. Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.
We can’t rush to the finish line. We can’t leap frog the work. (We can try but it usually back fires in the end.) Please let the wisdom and work of your life unfold with ease. Don’t rush. Don’t run when you could walk first. Allow it to be slow. As my friend Cathy would say, allow yourself to “wallow” for awhile. Allow yourself to FEEL and acknowledge the pain and discomfort. There is wisdom even in the grueling bits, even in the bleeding and swelling. Listen closely and let it take it’s time. This allows your whole being (body, mind, spirit and soul) to align and move forward together. This creates safety in your nervous system, which creates lasting progress. It gives time for you to INTEGRATE the lessons and new ways of being. In rushing, you collect knowledge. In slowness, you become new.